Just a Boring Pregnancy Post

I'm sorry that I've become that slacker blogger who doesn't update and just disappears. I've thought about updating, but then when the time comes, I haven't quite known what to say. I still don't quite know what to say. I have decided that the third trimester of pregnancy is way more tiring than I would have imagined, so when the time comes, I think the creative genius in me (should such a thing have ever existed in the first place) just disappears from exhaustion takes over and I need to go to sleep or at least lie in bed and attempt to sleep, where I wake up every hour or two due to my now pea-sized bladder and various aches and discomforts.

I can't say that pregnancy has really treated me badly, but I haven't found it to be a terribly comfortable experience either. Other than a careless doctor claiming I looked too small, and scaring the living daylights out of me, everything's been pretty uneventful. I've been putting up with some moderate swelling that started a couple of weeks ago and my feet hurt all of the time, but that's really been the worst of it (and the heartburn, and the exhaustion, and the hemorrhoids, etc. etc.) As I'm approaching my due date, I'm surprised at how nervous I am about MC dying--it's not logical, it doesn't make sense, but I can very quickly imagine a horrible outcome. I had a lot of fear about this happening early on, then again around the 20 week ultrasound, but after that I really relaxed about it for a while--probably until I had the careless doctor scare me two weeks ago. While I definitely don't want to hurry MC out earlier than he wants to be, I will also feel much better, mentally and physically, once he's born healthy and sound.

Even though I've always encouraged other bloggers to speak their mind on pregnancy, I haven't felt so comfortable doing the same for myself. I'm not sure why, but this just hasn't seemed like the forum to discuss pregnancy for me, and it didn't seem the like right place to carry on about how much I miss North Carolina (yeah, I'm still trying to move past that too), so I'm not sure what I want to do with my blog space. It hasn't seemed right to me to focus on my pregnancy in a community where my pregnancy could be painful for some, and some other things have just seemed out of scope or too personal to place in my blog. As someone once said, all infertility blogs eventually morph into something else: a life without children, a mommy blog, a journal of other aspects of life that take over. It's hard to decide where I want to go and how I want to go about it, even if I'll want to continue to blog in the future. You all have been such good companions and this blog has been such a wonderful outlet for me, so I really do apologize for just up and leaving abruptly. It wasn't my intention to be so negligent. But I do promise I will keep you posted on how the end of this pregnancy goes, with hopefully a happy outcome. My mother, and then probably my mother-in-law will be coming to visit and help out shortly after MC is born, so I don't expect to do much blogging at that point in time, but I will make sure to at least let y'all know how things are going.